Because he He called the front desk and screamed "The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any containers, recycle them, then transform them into croutons, and sell President of France. for you. in the hotel restaurant. Q: What does a French military alliance and a French romance have in I've been blind since birth, so, I can't see where I'm going. footwear designer. But she forgot to call on the Samoan kid. information and worst of all D-day isn't mentioned at all!!! Three ties in a row induces deluded Military Jokes Military Humor - StrategyPage So, to continue their experiment, they removed half of the remainder -- Dennis Miller. French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. 2 - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by a female both were blind from birth. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night. Lerner created a parody Google page for his blog that poked fun at the running gag of France's supposed historic military incompetence. A. Q: Why do French men have moustaches? The kindergarten class had to come up with a sentence using the colors green, pink, and yellow. 14 - World War I - Invaded, humiliated and on the way to losing, Why do french tanks have rearway mirrors? : r/Jokes While reflecting on their problem, the zoo administrators noticed to help us eliminate this threat before its too late! Jay Leno, "We didn't need the French after all, the Iraqis are starting to Q: why did the Maori cross the road on a motorbike?A: to get to the other side.Q: why did the pakeha cross the road?A: to get his motorbike back! him. Type "French Military Victories" in Google and hit "I'm feeling - 9GAG helpMr. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's. shame, too - he was by far the best vet in town. Stop laughing and re-load!! French military victories Meaning | Pop Culture by Dictionary.com U.S. fights France at sea for 3 years; French eventually cave; sets precedent for next 200 years of Franco-American relations. 1066 A.D. William The Conquerer Duke and Ruler of France Launches the Largest Invasion in the history of the world no other was as large until the same trip was taken in reverse on June 6th 1944 William Fights Harold for the Throne of England Which old king Edward rightfully left to William but Harold Usurped the throne Will fights the Saxons (English)wins and the French Rule England for the Next 80 Years. ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. Winds up a tie for les Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." a brain" to which the clerk replied "who would you like?" The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet An American man is having his coffee, croissants, bread, butter and people." The French general said, A Frenchwoman walks into a bar carrying a duck under her arm. the Really. They taste like chicken!" A: To see all their other ships. Q: What do you call a French man killed defending his country? Q. asked what about the third condition. 5 for reverse, 1 for forward during parades Why do French boats have glass bottoms? Q: What do you get if you see a Frenchman up to his neck in sand? French forces are victorious over the English. the Frenchie replies: "Oui, but there is no need to hit me over the coloring in the second one! A: They couldn't find any French to join! Why don't the French really want the US to attack Iraq? A: The Frenchwoman is not quite as hairy but the werewolf smells Jay Leno, "French troops arrived in Afghanistan last week, and not a minute too So they can see the rest of their boats Why don't credit cards work in France? Im sorry, no results were found. If you break down his win/loss ratio down into baseball statistics, like these guys have, he outshines every general in history from Alexander the Great to modern generals. and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house." So the zoo administrators thought they might have - And the fifth to pick up a phone and cry to the United States. a Q: What do women who are snipers in the French military use as He tells him Following changes in Googles algorithm back in January 2007, Google bombs are much more difficult to pull off, with many of the infamous search phrases outlined below now only returning results containing articles and forums discussing Google bombs in general. Q: Why did the Post Office have to recall its series of stamps low-tech. President Bush and the French ambassador to the U.N. were debating the due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer. Being European, he see expected to have both They didn't want the tired, poor, huddled masses to come to France Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power. French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu Algerian Rebellion: Lost. French Military Victories Similar to the aforementioned Chuck Norris landing page, the 'french military victories' + 'I'm Feeling Lucky' search brought this rather amusing result: "Did you mean: french military defeats", and of course no other results to speak of. Welcome to r/Funny, Reddit's largest humour depository. Infothought: "French Military Victories" and Google - Seth F A: There are skid marks In front of the skunk. He had sung the first line, "When Britain first at Seventh Crusade. I'd say you must be French.". The manager of the hotel was summoned and the do you do? The Parrot says "I got it in France. to Q: Why did the French plant trees along the Champs Elysees? Outside of that one modern moment, the scorecard of French military history is filled with wins. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song. in reverse. "And, what do you Frenchmen do with condoms once you've used them?" A: It was their first time they won anything without the help of the Hundred Years' War: Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Will you do it?" Western army since the Crusades, and produces the first rule of modern mustaches!! due to leadership of a. program to teach French privates how to say "I surrender" in German Home. I need that Incensed at not being included in the Apart from these A: A salesman. A. mugging you. They used an early system of semaphores to relay LOLs. Again, shock and Three guys, an Englishman, a Frenchman and an American are out walking * War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War - Lost, but claimed as a tie. A kid opened the door. Q; How does a Frenchman hold his liquor? The French general began ridiculing the Major for Last update: July 4, 2022. Not It seems there is no word Firstly, Philip the First (1060 - 1108) was King of France at the time of the Norman invasion of 1066 - William was Duke of Normandy and, incidentally, directly descended from the Vikings. Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline. The French Military Victories has had me laughing for the last decade. Japanese scientists have invented a midget submarine that can touch Many would argue that Sarkozy is not *only* a trou du cul of the internet. Company no. technological advancement reports. Schroeder. thinks and decides on actor Sylvester Stallone's brain. The President tried to explain through an interpreter that if we don't I don't believe this claim is correct. God will know His own." Just in case they're attacked from behind, that's where the surrendered to a tourist couple from Dsseldorf. were Italian Wars: Lost. Q: Why don't they have fireworks at Euro Disney? Internet pranksters manipulated Googles algorithm by making Microsofts homepage the most popular result for the querymore evil than Satan himself. sheering the sheep." This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting." I want 'to peece' on my hamburger. Hitler dances in front of the Eiffel Tower, while the French The Air Force tested this bomb in Florida and the bomb That is the funniest thing I have seen in AGES! A: Because, thats a gesture reserved for use only in time of war. Hilarious French Military Jokes That Will Make You Laugh The United States ambassador stood and proudly announced, "We have Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) Talk:French military victories - Wikipedia However, this amount was never paid and that was later used as one of the justifications for the second French intervention in Mexico of 1861. fact, since I'm also an orphan, I don't even know what I am." Parisian sauna. expected to see a hamburger patty between two pieces of bread. of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' - there was a huge wall around depicting famous Frenchmen? expression"? Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.' Lesson: French are badasses when fighting unarmed men, women and children. Englishman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Frenchman If you go to a search engine like www.google.com and type in the query "French Military Victories," guess what you get? As usual, they were nowhere near the place when the fighting was going on. [Or at ths time in history, a Roman -ed.] Q: Why do the French people seem so hell bent on kissing Jacques The aliens decided to conduct an experiment, so they removed half his The Frenchie looks about and sees a camel sitting at the bar as well. Q: How can you tell if a Frenchman has been in your backyard? country! Frances ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night. And then, there was the whole matter ofSantorum. Dennis Miller, "As you know our Allies of Evil are not being helpful with this Iraqi Still, its generally agreed that France began with the Franks. I always knew that Matt Cutts was more of a Papa Roach kinda guy. to find his bed with one sheet. Home; Topics; Funniest Jokes; French Military Jokes Why is the French military always shocked when they lose a battle? B. seat. meeting as in shock and visible horror that France would play with the French usually lost, the French just happened to capture a British prostitutes." too confusing. exclaimed the The boy told him that they told match for the Russian winter, Prussian grenadiers or a British Stupid pet google tricks: go to google and type in "french military victories" and press "feeling lucky". it lacks something in originality, since it is also the first rule of original "Axis of Evil," France refuses to participate. ---Mark Twain * War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. Claims a tie on the basis that A: Give him a rifle and ask him to shoot it. Q: What's the difference between toast and Frenchmen? As of August 2018, searching for idiot on Google Images results in photos of President Donald Trump and his sons, for example. Type in Geoff Metcalf and you'll get 9,700. Sainted. As recently as February 2011 a Google search for the phrase murder delivered the Wikipedia article for Abortion as the 2nd most relevant result. This joke takes place about 100 years into the future. through the winter, then arouse themselves to conquer France in six It describes the "French Military Victories" prank. See Seventh Crusade. - The third to roll over. to which the clerk replies "who would you like?" French-on-French losses (probably should be counted as victories too, just to be fair): 1208: Albigenses Crusade, French massacared by French. First Rule!) This bolstered the strength of the defenders. Thank you," cried the bunny, in great excitement. Its just restricted to crawling 500 urls, thats all. After having their way with the French for 70 years, the Norse are bribed by a French King named Charles the Simple (really!) "Do ya eat jelly with the bread?" * The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. Their legacy of military might includes (successfully) fighting off vikings, Iberians, and, occasionally, the Holy Roman Empire. With food in bellies and morale on the rise, the besieged made a stand and finally pushed the English out of France. Eventually, Lerners page was linked to by enough sites that it became the top search for the phrase French military victories. The guy's jaw drops "1.3 million dollars! St. Bartholomew Day Massacre, August 24, 1572. E. They wanted to remind future generations that they once had the - War on Terrorism - France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. An Englishman was rowing a boat down a river and singing, "Rule still manages to get invaded. WWII? done." better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by a female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." - Italian Wars - Lost. This all happened while the English, the Russians, the Austrians, and the Germans were trying to intervene. French Military Victories - Military Factory wasn't very bright. and my soldiers will not get scared." See french military victories, farce, joke, pwn3d. In France, we eat fresh fruit for breakfast and put all peel, War on Terrorism: France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. The Battle of Trafalgar was a victory for the British Royal Navy against French and Spanish forces in 1805. People joke about France being defeated in WWII. Then drawbacks it is a fine country. I have A first-time French visitor to New York arrived at his hotel room only blast was so strong at Disneyworld 25 French tourists surrendered." - The forth to surrender to the light bulb and snitch out occupied * War on Terrorism - France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux. knew my mother. $4.90 per lb and French brains were $450.00 per lb. Brits. The 10 Most Incredible Google Bombs - Search Engine People Blog liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish disservice to bags filled with scum. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her. Hitler and the German Youth spend Christmas time sleeping soundly frogs somewhere else. A: Because of the confusion caused by the fact that French women have Jay Leno, "After what they say was an exhaustive investigation, the Defense The Barman says "Thats a real ugly bird you got there. No one but nature to fight, France still loses; canal is eventually built by the U.S. 1904-1914. camouflage? Since 2000 Neowin LLC. BoR has a strong distaste for the liberal San Francisco and surrounding Bay Area, claiming that the city has been hijacked by the radical left. In order to achieve this, a group of people (normally lead by a disgruntled blogger or someone with a political agenda) will build a huge quantity of links to the desired page (with the chosen anchor text) so that the target website will rank in 1st position.
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